ALTERING THE ALTERED:

Altering the altered: A collective quilt workshop ignited from lived experience that turned into a question. As a Black woman navigating a society that often overlooks the reality of my day-to-day experiences and the impact of societal perceptions and attitudes, I have personally seen a trend in my own mental health and many Black women around me. This perception of strength despite the intensity of trauma we have experienced as a community has been placed on us resulting in many Black women to take up this narrative of constantly having to present “strong” and feeling like true feelings aren’t allowed to be expressed. This narrative has not allowed us to mourn, process, and express freely because we don't have a safe space allotted to do so. This has manifested in a variety of ways among Black women, a common outcome being high levels of stress and anxiety. Which led to my question of how can Black women comfortably process hardship, difficult feelings and their realities? More specifically, how can art-making serve as a mediator in a process that is often avoided by many black women due to a strong distrust in traditional mental health services. 

Altering the Altered brought nine Black women together in a comfortable setting to process and openly discuss the manifestations of transgenerational trauma through art-making. These nine women had varied levels of artistic abilities, some had experience with quilting or sewing and some with no sewing experience at all. However, this difference in skill level did not hinder the engagement or artistic expression which I feel the support of a like minded community aided each participant to feel comfortable to just go for it despite any nerves they had coming into the workshop.

Due to a large amount of donated materials and supplies the participants had a vast amount of fabrics to choose from allowing them to more accurately express what they wanted and how they wanted. The group was given a directive to choose two pieces of fabrics to start with one to be their base and one which they wrote out their thoughts, feelings and responses to the discussion questions that were presented to them. They were then instructed to alter the fabric with their written responses. It was explained to the participant that the transmission of transgenerational trauma has been studied through a process called epigenetics. Where the experience of trauma alters the expression of genes and that is passed down from generation to generation. Therefore, the act of altering this piece specifically was to “take back the power”, altering something that was altered within you beyond your control. The original goal was to create a space for open dialogue, which took place. However, throughout the workshop I was noticing something even more beautiful manifesting. Many moments throughout our time together were in complete silence. Silence of engagement, silence of processing, silence of being present within themselves but also with each other. Vulnerable discussion took place but what I feel took over was a moment of processing that happened in the moment when no words were spoken. The level of engagement and detail each participant had in their individual pieces showcased just that. 

By the end of the workshop nine quilt squares were created. Nine very different narratives, experiences, and realities of the same phenomenon were given not only a space but also a voice. I was so incredibly grateful for these women trusting me and each other in this experience and each woman successfully altered the altered.